23rd January 2023

I am not going to call it a New Year's Resolution because it's not new year anymore and January is just flying out the window like it hasn't got a care in the world for those around it like me! I decided to write something every day but that idea went out of the window so I am clawing any good intentions back and making a start today. It is 3.30pm and I am going to write for 30 whole minutes! My life seems to be a series of incidents, the most recent being yesterday in Asda! I was shopping with my pal Brenda who is taller than me - as most people are. As I was stretching up to look at the clothes the rail came unhinged sending clothes everywhere in the aisle. Ofcourse we were laughing but managed to get the rail sorted and Brenda was able to hang all the clothes back up easily. This had brought attention to ourselves so we moved on to the gents coat section where I found a jacket for Jon. Yest again the rail system was designed for an average 7 foot shopper and as I scrambled through the small sizes I came across a medium - sending several small ones onto the floor again! Having decided this was perfect for Jon we made our way to the self check out via the vegetable section! Being a brussel sprout type of gal I noticed some rather succulent specimens so I got 2 bags. At the check out we scanned everything and it was here Brenda suggested we have a cuppa. Obsessed as many are with the notion of not buying plastic carrier bags, Brenda came up with the idea of stuffing the sprouts into the jacket pockets - which I did. I made sure I had the receipt as we made our way to the cafe. We had our tea/soup in Brenda's case and made our way to the exit. The alarm was so loud it startled both Brenda and myself - so much once again we started laughing. I could see some ex-pupils looking on with interest and an ex-teaching colleague passed, laughing at our situation. Security arrived and ascertained the alarm had gone off because there was a security tag on the jacket which WOULD have been removed at a conventional manned check out, but because we had decided to go to the self check out, the tag had remained on the jacket. The security guy by ths time had the jacket and was unzipping the pockets - can you imagine his face when he came across the sprouts? Thank goodness I had the receipt and I also pointed out that if I was to shop lift it wuld have been for something far more valuable than 2 packets of sprouts - possibly a turnip or some red cabbage! He didn't seem to have my sense of humour but Brenda and I found it hilarious - remember the alarm was still clanging out at this time. The receipt was sufficient evidence, the tag was removed, the alarm ceased and Brenda and I left the building! 3.45pm.