Saturday, March 3

Saturday fun!

Saturday afternoon and the weather is awful! Then......the post arrives and it is a lovely card from Bob's mum..(now my new header! followed by an e-mail arrives from my neighbour - had to share! Hope it brings a smile ot two!


Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'


A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'


'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court

Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said. 'And every now and

Then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'


A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,

Took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'


A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.


Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'


Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'


A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.



While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since

I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.


The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive bolt of lightning, followed by a tremendous clap of thunder, accompanied by

Even more thunder rumbling in the distance...

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'


  1. especially like the one about the wizard :-)

    1. Well it IS just up your street Kath! lol! ie Wizards and all that!

  2. They put a smile on my face Denise,I do hope that Jon doesnt have you hanging on the back of his bike like that,think Im going to have a little word with him about it,just in Love Jill xx

    1. hahahaha Jill - no he doesn't!!! I would have to have words. He always says "Nobody hears you scream on the back of a bike! lol!

  3. I just love your new header. Very amusing post brightens up what has been a very dull morning (tho the sun is peeking through and showing signs of a brighter afternoon)

  4. Oh my goodness!! Visions of me in the future when gorgeous hubbyman has finished doing up his old!!! Nice to have a chuckle with the funnies. Suzy x

  5. LOL I love your new header - that's just you and Jon!

  6. Horray! It got there ok! I knew you'd like it! :)

  7. Excellent! I love your header and the jokes were deliciously groan-worthy;-)

  8. NOt only did you put a smile on my face, but I also heard myself chuckling and wondering who I can send these jokes to. Love your header!

  9. They were all very good and had me chuckling! :-D
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  10. These were really good. Thanks for the chuckle.

  11. Well, that's started my Sunday morning off on the right note and I am still in my dressing gown. Miserable outside, so can't be bad.

  12. Absolutely bloody hilarious and loving the last one :))


Thank you for your comments, always nice to know somebody has taken the time to let me know what they think.